If you create a poll, asking people about both sides of the coin: Working mothers vs Stay at home mothers, I’m sure you would be blown away by the feedbacks. That, because you will be dragged from one extreme to another. Opinions will kick in regarding how the presence of moms impacts child behavior, level of delinquency, depression or success. People will make you feel that work-life balance is impossible.

Some will call working mothers living heroes, and some will consider them heartless. They will say women who stay at home are courageous for making such sacrifices, or that they are doing nothing for society as a whole. And you will end up confused not knowing who is right or wrong.

Well, let me provide you with a news flash. Whether you stay at home taking care of your children, or you decide to pursue your dream career, your children are not impacted by this decision of yours.

I am not just dropping an opinion here, I am speaking based on studies. Specifically, the Journal of Marriage and Family 2015 study, which indicated that whether you work outside the home or not, you tend to spend the same amount of time with your kids. The difference lies only on the quality of the time spent together.

Deciding to stay home

So you’ve placed yourself in the group of people who think that by working, you’ll miss out on your child’s growth. Even when you’re the most efficient employee, you consider quitting. It’s not an uplifting news that with every child, a woman loses 4 percent of her earnings (while dads’ earnings increase 6 percent). If you do choose to stay at home, because you feel vulnerable leaving your toddler at home, it is totally fine.

However, if you are choosing out of fear of having your absence harm your child, then bear with me as we go through conclusions which came to light in a few studies.

A recent Gallup poll revealed that more stay-at-home moms report experiencing sadness or anger in their day than moms who work outside of the home. That means the energy you are transmitting to your child is not healthy. And that’s what led researchers to another recent study of moms who are spending too much time with their kids. Stemming from pressure and fear of social shaming, Brigid Schulte, from Washington Post, explains that time spent with stressed mothers can actually hurt children.

Which means, fellow working moms, that unless you need to work or you want to work, you should not feel socially imposed to become a stay at home mom, as your decision does not impact your kids’ development whatsoever. It does, however, impact your well-being. And you are only responsible for the kind of feelings your little one is getting from you.

Getting back to work

I did say that we are going to consider both sides of the coin; however, the amount of research available on both is not conclusive. It tends to favour working mothers a whole lot more.

If you’re reading this from your office desk, anxious because this is your first day back at work and away from the baby, then rest your pounding heart as you have done nothing wrong.

A Harvard researcher studied the happiness of kids of working moms compared to stay-at-home moms. She found that they end up just as happy as adults as the children of moms who stayed home. Kids of stay-at-home moms grow up to be happy, too. So, really, you showing up to work has zero impact on your child’s eventual happiness.

These recent results are part of a larger study which Harvard Business School Professor Kathleen McGinn has been conducting. If you dig a little deeper into this study, you will find that your work has a good influence on your children.

McGinn’s survey found daughters of employed moms earned an average of $1,880 more per year than daughters of full-time work-from-home moms. Interesting, isn’t it?

But how does it impact my son, you would ask. Well, it turns out that the sons of working moms tend to have more equal gender views, tend to marry partners who also work and spend an extra 50 minutes each week caring for family members.

All good news here for working moms of boys. You’re raising future successful leaders by also speeding up the pace of gender equality.

Is there an in between?

Why, yes there is. There are countless options nowadays that allow you to go back and forth from doing both, child care and career devotion.

The internet could provide you with a list of employers who will hire you to work part-time jobs, or if you simply want to work from home and not from a desk, that could happen too.

It’s entirely up to you to decide where you fit in best. We are way past the time of huge sacrifices, and you shouldn’t put your well-being down to shade. If there’s one thing that one can understand out of all these studies, is that your flowing energy is the only thing that determines your child’s growth, so make it a positive one.

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