When I was pregnant with Lauren (my first child), I had plans to go back to work as soon as my body is able. You see, I was running my own F&B business so ‘work’ was important to me. I built my business from scratch and it was essentially my first ‘baby’.

What I didn’t realise back then was that my priority quickly shifted as soon as my human baby was born. I had to deal with staffing issue just a few hours after I gave birth. A staff had a headache and she can’t make it to work. It was something that I dealt with almost on a daily basis back then. I usually just brushed it off and reshuffled some staff between outlets and all would be well.

However, on the day I became a mother, I quickly decided that I didn’t want to deal staff issues as such again and I was going to wind up my business. This is equivalent to someone quitting their job as soon as their baby is gone. Sure, it was a rash decision. One that was made with high emotions and hormonal imbalance but I stand by it. I simply cannot imagine going to work while leaving my baby with strangers in a roomful of other babies, knowing that when my baby is hungry or just wants some reassuring cuddles she might have to wait a while.

Disclaimer: I’m NOT in any way suggesting all women should stay home with their babies and not go back to work. I applaud the mums who juggle full-time work and family but to each their own.

I know I’m not the only one. Many mothers I know have difficulty leaving their newborn at home when their maternity leave runs out. We’ve been with our babies since they were born and it makes us sad that we would have to leave them with a helper or in infant care centre.

So what are the options?

• Option #1: Go back to work full-time, stick your baby in childcare for 40 hours a week.
• Option #2: Switch to salaried part-time work.
• Option #3: Quit your job and be a stay-at-home mum. It’s a big financial pill to swallow if you’re used to two full time paychecks, but many people are able to make it work.
• Option #4: Run your own business from home.

What to Consider

Your bank account

Can you afford to lose your current full-time paycheck? Keep in mind that the cost of returning to work when you have a baby can be quite substantial.

I had a part-time job when Lauren was around 8 months old. I was desperate to have some adult interaction and earn some pocket money of my own. What I didn’t realise was most of my salary ended up going towards childcare. We had a part-time nanny who came in whenever I had to work. While nannies are more flexible with time, the cost of nanny care is much higher than a daycare. But the trouble was, I didn’t want daycare, I wanted to spend time with my baby. That was the whole point of part-time work. Also, you won’t get subsidies on childcare if your baby is only there a few days a week.

Remember to also factor in any other perks you receive from your job, such as insurance, medical and retirement plans. Will you be covered under partner’s benefits? How much will it cost to add you?

Your career

Are you leaving a career or just a job? Will you be able to pick up where you left off? Will your skills and industry knowledge still be current when you return to work a few years later?

Talk to colleagues who have taken time off and returned to careers in your field. How long did they stay out? How did they get back in?

If you do choose to stay home after maternity leave, stay in touch with your colleagues, and keep up on all the happenings in your field through online networking, industry news sites and professional associations. That way, when you’re ready to go back, you’ll be prepared.

Your social life

Is work a big part of your identity? How is your support network outside the office? Do you have other friends who are home with kids? Life as a stay-at-home-mom is rewarding, but it can also get lonely at times, especially when you are accustomed to having constant access to social interaction at work. I find going to

Life as a stay-at-home-mom is rewarding, but it can also get lonely at times, especially when you are accustomed to having constant access to social interaction at work. I find going to playdates and meeting other mummies help. Otherwise, forming a group chat with friends or family members who have children as old as your little one is great as an outlet to let out steam. They’ll know exactly what you’re going through.

Your expectation and goals

How do you picture your life at home with a baby? Are your expectations realistic? Ask friends who have been in your shoes to describe a typical day (preferably without crying). If you think you’ll go crazy staying home, returning to work might be healthier for you and your baby.

Think back to when you were a child: What did you want to be when you grew up? Is staying home something you’ve always wanted to do, or is it now just an escape from an unfulfilling job that has you burned out?

Sacrificing time with your baby for work you don’t love may be less appealing than giving up some quality time at home to continue your growth in your dream job.

Your partner

Is it important to you that you be the one home with your child, or is your biggest concern simply that your child is able to stay home with one parent or the other (as opposed to going to daycare)? Can you both continue to work but modify your schedules so that one of you is always home with the baby during the week?

Ideally, you and your partner will be able to make the decision together and support one another in whatever you both decide.

What makes you happy

Before you make a final decision, be sure to consider what will make you truly happy in the long run. Ask yourself: What feels right? Trust me, when the time comes to decide, you’ll know. Listen to your gut. There is no right or wrong answer, and choosing one over the other doesn’t make you a better or worse mother.

What to do if you decide to NOT go back to work

Not every woman can honestly make the decision “for sure” before the baby arrives. So when we do decide that we do not want to go back to work, we are grappled by not just financial and personal issues, but an ethical one: How do I tell my boss I’m not coming back to work?

If you are 100% sure you want to stay home, then legally and ethically, it is your option. However, if you have a contractual obligation, such as a signed agreement saying you will return, then your employer could seek repayment of benefits if you decide not to return.

But if you haven’t made up your mind, you’re not a terrible person for keeping the option of returning open. It’s a HUGE decision – with life-long repercussions for your career and earnings power and retirement – and plenty of women change their minds during maternity leave.

Of course, soon as you make up your mind, your company should know too. Do not wait until week 15-and-a-half to tell them you aren’t coming back. You should always try to give them as much notice as you possibly can.

If you do decide to stay home AFTER your baby is born, quit in person, with your HR person and your boss present. Offer to help with the transition — working from home, coming in for interviews and meetings, organising to-do lists and job description. In other words, don’t burn any bridges. You never know when you’d like to return to work and you might need those references later on.

Consider your colleagues. When you decide to leave a job abruptly, you risk leaving coworkers in the lurch. Think about offering to return to work temporarily until your employer can find a replacement for you.

Explore flexible work arrangement before your leave. If you know you’ll want some sort of flexibility upon returning to your job, perhaps you can identify the ways you can meet your job responsibility and demonstrate to your employer how it can be done.

Childcare solutions if you decide to go back to work

I’ve been working from home for more than four years now. So I’ve looked into and tried all sorts of childcare solutions. We currently have a live-in helper who is great with the children. I understand this may not be an option for many families, so here are more childcare ideas that will save you some serious money AND get more time with your littles.

Family help

My sister-in-law works part-time in the office two days a week. She drops her son off at my in-laws on her way to work and picks him up in the evening. My nephew gets to form a great bond with his grandparents, and my friend saves money and has a peace of mind that her son is with people she trusts.

Get a nanny with a child of her own

Do you know any stay-at-home mum whom you trust? Perhaps you can ask her if you could pay her to look after your baby too. You could work out an arrangement where she comes to your place when you work from home or you could drop your baby off at her place, The best thing is, she already have all the baby essentials! She also benefits because gets to spend all day with her baby and make a little extra cash while she’s at it. Win-win for all parties.

Bring baby to work

Trehaus is a co-working facility an on-site daycare. A couple of my friends work from there. When they need to focus on work for a couple hours, they pop into the co-working facility, drops their kids off in the daycare area, and gets down to business in the work area, right next door. It’s great because if their little one gets hungry and needs to nurse, the daycare staff just call them over for a few minutes, and they get right back to work afterwards. Save on commuting time between workplace and childcare too.

Tag team

I know a couple who work different shifts. Mummy works part-time, so daddy watches the baby during the day. When daddy goes to work from 7pm (he works in the night entertainment industry), mummy takes over. I’m not sure if it’s healthy for their marriage but at least they are not paying anyone else to watch their baby.

This is not an easy decision. Just remember, your decision and choice of childcare don’t have to be final; it just needs to work for your family right now. All the best.