A Long Ass Post About Turning 36
So I turned 36 a couple days ago. How do I feel about being 36? It’s pretty much the same as the year before.
I feel that while I’ve grown wiser (I hope!) from year to year, I’m still the same little girl at 12 years old. Not mentally nor physically, but with the same values and aspirations for life. At times, I feel like I’m pretending to be an adult. That I’m still the same 12 year old and an impostor in a 36 years old body. I playing a role – that I’m supposed to be a certain way but what do I know for sure? Anyone has felt the same?
It’s funny that I feel more of a connection to my teenage self than to my twentyish-year-old self. After more than two decades of discovering and reinventing who I am, I find myself exactly at where I’d imagined myself at 36 when I was a little girl – married to a wonderful husband and having 2 kids.
I realised I’m extremely blessed to have a close knit family despite our distance geographically and a few very close friends, near and far. I know I can count on them when I need them.
Every year, I’m surprised that more than a hundred people wish me happy birthday via Facebook, Instagram and private messages. Granted, they get a reminder on Facebook but the very act of spending a few seconds to type a birthday message just for me, touch me tremendously.
Maybe because I’m terrible with birthdays and even with Facebook reminders, I mostly can’t be bothered to write a simple note. I’m terrible, I know. That’s why I’m convinced that people are going to stop sending me birthday wishes eventually. But they didn’t and for that, I’m humbled and honoured.
My 2015 in review
Last year I wrote about choosing the word ‘Quality’ as a defining word for the year. I think I’ve done pretty well.
I stuck to my rule of saying yes only when my gut says, “Hell yeah”. Because of that, I declined many events last year. I’ve also turned down many collaboration opportunities because of the same reason. Some brands or products are just not right for my readership. If I feel like I don’t have much to contribute to a topic, I’d said no too.
By saying ‘no’ more often, it has allowed me to spend most of my time with my family and on things that matter.
Last year was a year of discovery when it comes to my maternity concierge business and my blog. I think I have a clearer idea of who is reading the blog and what my clients need.
I didn’t spend a lot of time with friends last year, but when we did catch up, I had really good times. I’m glad I agreed to be one of my best friend’s bridesmaid at her wedding in Malaysia. I had the best of time just being there for her and seeing other friends that I’ve not met for a very long time.
It hasn’t been all rosy either. I had a fall-out with a friend last year. It still hurts. Falling out with a friend is just as painful as breaking up with a boyfriend; even though the only thing we had in common was memories from when we were in our twenties. I’m no longer the same person.
The experience taught me that some people don’t change and we are not in the position to try to change them. Being completely honest can hurt people and not everyone can handle the truth. I should have known better. Nick summed it up in a good way. The friendship was already dying. It’s just too bad that it ended the way it did. I wish her well.
My 2016
What’s your defining word for this year?
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HELLO! I’M MICHELLE.
Find out more about me here.
Happy 36th! haha No leh. I don't feel like I can connect with my teen or tween self. I wonder what I'll say of myself at 36! Loving that new hairstyle!
Looking forward to your good news of having #3!! And happy birthday again, Michelle! You really don't look anything like 36 lahhhh omg.
Blessed birthday wishes…. how is it that you don't seem to show any aging??!! I really love reading your reflections, let's enjoy life and count our blessings yeah 😉
Happy Birthday! You looked much younger than your age! 🙂 May you have more dates with your friends and hubby . Wishing you another great year ahead!
3rd one! åŠ æ²¹!
Happy 36th Birthday to you! Having a new word each year anchors the soul and helps prioritise too. May your heart's desires be granted in 2016!
Happy birthday! Have a great year ahead!
Happy Sweet 16 (+20)!
Sounds like a great 2015 and hope it will be an even better 2016 for you. I've lost count of my birthday ever since I turned 30 and that was just 2 years ago hahahaha… age is just a number and seriously, you barely look 36!!
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Michelle,
Just stumbled across your blog and enjoyed reading this post. Happy belated birthday wishes to you. You look beautiful. After turning 30, I started forgetting about my age (maybe it's done on purpose :).
I had a fall out with a "best friend" about 5 years ago, and it was because we were growing into different individuals, and I felt she was all about herself as we got older. I needed to remove myself. The wound healed over time, but the way in which it ended still left a scar, even though I was the one that initiated the breakup. It's much like a break up with a boyfriend, except it is even deeper because you find yourself still caring about this person and wishing they were different, and things could've been the way they were when you were great friends. Life is funny that way, isn't it?!
Love,
Tamia
http://www.emmeandtilly.com
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Tamia. Breakup of any kind isn't easy but I guess it's part of life. Good on you to do the hard thing and remove yourself when the friendship no longer serves a purpose. More time for relationship that matters! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Tamia. Breakup of any kind isn’t easy but I guess it’s part of life. Good on you to do the hard thing and remove yourself when the friendship no longer serves a purpose. More time for relationship that matters! 🙂
Thank you ah! 😀