I remember my first ‘me-time’ very well. It was the first time I left my then 5 weeks old Lauren at home with my husband, Nick. I was just out of confinement and I was feeling excited and worried at the same time. What if the baby needs me? What if she cries and Nick doesn’t know how to calm her? I almost didn’t make it out the door.

But I did.

I went to a shopping mall, just 15 minutes walk from home. I found myself wandering aimlessly around the mall, constantly thinking about my baby at home. I missed her increasing more as the seconds ticked by. Everywhere I looked, I was reminded of her. I would saw the baby change room, and I’d thought, “I could use that if Lauren is with me”. I was constantly looking at other babies and gauge how big or small they are compared to mine at home.

Eventually I decided to be productive and went bra shopping. My boobs had gone up a cup or two when I was lactating. Just as I was going into the fitting room, I heard a baby cried. And I felt it. I was having a let-down! Suffice to say, bra shopping with leaky boobs just didn’t work.

So I went grocery shopping in the end. I went home after just 1.5 hours of ‘me-time’. It was a disaster. I was so relieved that I had spent enough time outside home to say I had my ‘me time’. Now let me see my baby!

I didn’t take anymore me-time for another 5 months.

Finally, I had an enough is enough moment and went on a girls’ trip to Taipei with my sister for 4 days. It was tough leaving a 6 months old infant at home and I had to rushed back to the hotel to ‘pump and dump’ my breast milk at the end of every day. But it was a much needed break to regain my sanity.

I wouldn’t recommend anyone to go from close-to-none ‘me-time’ to a complete escape to another country like I did.

Almost 3 years later, I’m now a work-from-home-mom of 2. My experience had thought me that having little nooks of time to myself is not only good for my sanity, it’s also easier to manage time-wise and emotionally. I think the best ‘me-time’ duration is between 3-4 hours.

In case you are wondering what you can do in 3 to 4 hours, here are some suggestions:

1. Go for a facial treatment – I absolutely love pampering myself with a facial. As moms, we have no time to put make-up on all the time. So if you have good skin, you’ve already won half the battle. You can get ready in a jiffy and confident without needing make-up. Oh, you could also catch up on your nap during a facial too. Multitasking at its best!

2. Online shopping – At times, I don’t need to head out of the house to have a little ‘me-time’. When both Lauren and Georgia takes their afternoon nap, I love bargain hunting on the web. I find shopping online very therapeutic and I can browse through hundreds of products and styles in under 2 hours.

3.  Couple time – The first time Nick and I went on a ‘date night’ after we became parents was for a cousin’s wedding. Lauren was 6 months old then. I still remember the trepidation and worries I had about leaving my baby with my aunt. Thankfully, my aunt not only did a great job – I don’t think Lauren was even aware that mommy and daddy wasn’t around – she kept my worry at bay with constant video updates of what they were up to the entire night.

After a few uncomfortable date nights where all we could think and talk was about the kids, we are now far more comfortable taking time out for ourselves. We go on regular monthly date so we get to spend time as a couple without distraction from the kids. So far, we’ve gone to the movies, explored flea markets, tried new restaurants and had dinner parties with couple friends sans children.

 
4. Exercise – It feels counter productive to spend 2 hours, including travel, just to exercise. But after every session, I feel refreshed and energised to take on the day. This is definitely something that I should be doing more.

5. Catching up with friends – Technology has helped us feel more connected with each other. We have Whatsapp chats, Skype and Facebook but nothing beats meeting a person face to face. I love meeting friends for a meal. We talk about everything and nothing at all. But I’m certain that I would always have a good time seeing my gal pals.

 
6. Make something – I might be labeled a workaholic for saying this but I do feel that going to work is my ‘me-time’. For a stay-at-home-mom, it could even be painting or baking, for fun. Cooking counts too if you are not obliged to do it.

There is something special about being productive. For me, work is when I produce something for my client – be it completing and setting up her baby nursery or addressing her pregnancy worries and coming up with a solution. I also take solace in writing, producing a blog post or writing a chapter of my book. It takes my mind of my kids and the feeling of having accomplished something, no matter how little, feels good.

Whatever you do, make sure that ‘me-time’ about you. Running errands and doing basic maintenance like going to the toilet by yourself is not a ‘me-time’.

So tell me, how do you spend your ‘me-time’? I’d love to hear. Leave your ‘me-time’ ideas in the comment box below!

 
This post is part of a blog train initiated by Danessa of Prayerfull Mum where a group of mommy bloggers share their thoughts on mommy me-time. Next up on the blog train is Dominique Goh. Click on the link to her blog to read her take on mommy me-time!

Dominique Goh, Singaporean Mum blogger, Educator and Mary Kay Beauty Consultant. Read more about her life experiences and passions at Dominique’s Desk.