How To Prepare Older Child For A New Baby
One of my biggest worry these days is how Lauren would react when we bring home the newborn. I tried my best to explain to Lauren that in this big belly of mine, is her ‘mei mei’ (younger sister in chinese), but she doesn’t seem to get the concept of another baby. In fact, she still refer to herself as THE ‘baby’.
I imagine being in her position. She is used to be the only child. She currently spends all her waking time with me; she gets a hug whenever she runs to me; we go for walks and playgroups together; but soon this will all change. In the early days, I’ll spend most of my time nursing the new baby, Lauren might feel left out. How can I show her that I still love her just as much?
So I read up, asked for ideas and here are some of the advice I got:
- When your older child meets new baby for the first time, let someone else hold the baby or have the baby laying down in moses basket, infant seat, etc. This way, she can focus on the baby one-to-one instead of being confused seeing a baby in your arms, which is their usual territory.
- When your older child visits you at the hospital, let your partner and your older child go to the nursery together and bring the baby to you. This way, she would feel like she is welcoming the baby and introducing it to you instead of finding her missing mommy holding another baby.
- Schedule quality alone time with your older child, to let her know you still love her very much.
- Ask everyone who visits to first greet your older child first before looking at the baby.
- Constantly tell your older child a lot about what a great big sister she is and how proud they must be for being the older one.
- Get your older child a baby doll for her to look after, so you both can be ‘mums’ together.
- Get your partner to pay more attention to your older child, it is the perfect time for them to bond, leaving you with the newborn.
- Buy and wrap little gifts in advance. Whenever your older child feels upset about being left out, give her a gift and says it is from her little brother/sister.
- You will find yourself saying, “Just a minute, I have to do this for baby.” Make a point of ‘telling’ the baby, it is now time for you to do something for your older child.
- If your first child is older, involve her in the decisions making process. Let her picks out the baby items when you shop, or even have her picks the name.
- Get your older child a “Big Sister” t-shirt, blanket or whatever she likes to feel special.
- If you have always been the one to put your older child to bed, continue to do so after the new baby arrives. Let her know you’ll always be there when she needs you.
- If both children are crying at the same time, attend to the older one first. The new baby is too young to know any better.
- Children love to hear praise. Say to your partner,”Lauren is so helpful today. You should have seen her. She got diapers and wipes for the baby just when I needed them!”
So how did you prepare your older child for a new baby? Any recommendation on children’s books about siblings? What happened when your older child met new baby for the first time? Do share. I would appreciate any insight. Thanks!
PS: How to enjoy your third trimester.
HELLO! I’M MICHELLE.
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My girl was 14-month-old when my son arrived. We bought a Pooh bear soft toy and put in my hospital bag. The first time she met her didi in the hospital, she was more interested in the Pooh bear than didi!
My girl was 14-month-old when my son arrived. We bought a Pooh bear soft toy and put in my hospital bag. The first time she met her didi in the hospital, she was more interested in the Pooh bear than didi!
Yes! Buy a present from Baby to Lauren too! And go shopping with Lauren to buy a little welcome-to-the-world present for Baby.
I did something borderline silly when I was pregnant – I often made "the baby" speak to Poppy. Sometimes they'd even hold whole conversations. But mostly it was how "the baby" would say "wow jiejie, you're so good at ____, will you teach me next time?" and "can we play together?". Poppy would reply with "Ok but you must come out first!".
I'm not sure if that's why they're so close now! (they're about 3.5 years apart)
Good luck, ChillMom!!
Yes! Buy a present from Baby to Lauren too! And go shopping with Lauren to buy a little welcome-to-the-world present for Baby.
I did something borderline silly when I was pregnant – I often made "the baby" speak to Poppy. Sometimes they'd even hold whole conversations. But mostly it was how "the baby" would say "wow jiejie, you're so good at ____, will you teach me next time?" and "can we play together?". Poppy would reply with "Ok but you must come out first!".
I'm not sure if that's why they're so close now! (they're about 3.5 years apart)
Good luck, ChillMom!!
Good tips, I found the praise one worked especially well for us, my daughter was actually really helpful (at 19 months bless her) and would help by bringing things for her baby brother. She would also bring him grass and leaves form the garden and leave them on his tummy whilst he was sleeping (slightly less helpful!)
She would help me work out what was wrong when he cried, I would ask her if she thought he was hungry/wet/tired and then go with what she said, even if I thought she was completely wrong, turns out she was just as good as I was and it really made her feel like he was her baby and she was important in his care.
They are now 19 and 18 and still pretty close. Of course they have their less harmonious moments too but generally it's all good!
Good tips, I found the praise one worked especially well for us, my daughter was actually really helpful (at 19 months bless her) and would help by bringing things for her baby brother. She would also bring him grass and leaves form the garden and leave them on his tummy whilst he was sleeping (slightly less helpful!)
She would help me work out what was wrong when he cried, I would ask her if she thought he was hungry/wet/tired and then go with what she said, even if I thought she was completely wrong, turns out she was just as good as I was and it really made her feel like he was her baby and she was important in his care.
They are now 19 and 18 and still pretty close. Of course they have their less harmonious moments too but generally it's all good!
Bee is two and a half and was almost two when Butterfly was born. I was worried about her not liking her little sister, but I haven't had any problems. (1) I definitely do "mommy and me" time just with Bee. (2) I ask her to help me with the baby, not just for the praise, but to let her know that it's HER little sister too and she's there to help take care of her. Whenever I don't have the baby in my arms, I make it a point to invite Bee over and play with her or hug her. I also will hug both of them regularly, giving group hugs or play a game together. I haven't purchased anything and although it may be cool for some, I wonder what precedence that sets for gift giving. It may not mean anything, since I've never done it. These are great ideas! Thanks for sharing with Creative Style!
Bee is two and a half and was almost two when Butterfly was born. I was worried about her not liking her little sister, but I haven't had any problems. (1) I definitely do "mommy and me" time just with Bee. (2) I ask her to help me with the baby, not just for the praise, but to let her know that it's HER little sister too and she's there to help take care of her. Whenever I don't have the baby in my arms, I make it a point to invite Bee over and play with her or hug her. I also will hug both of them regularly, giving group hugs or play a game together. I haven't purchased anything and although it may be cool for some, I wonder what precedence that sets for gift giving. It may not mean anything, since I've never done it. These are great ideas! Thanks for sharing with Creative Style!
This is some great advice. We are expecting number 2 so I will definitely be able to take away a lot of what was said here. I definitely want to make sure that my baby boy (first born) doesn't get jealous as much as I can, if I can help it.
This is some great advice. We are expecting number 2 so I will definitely be able to take away a lot of what was said here. I definitely want to make sure that my baby boy (first born) doesn't get jealous as much as I can, if I can help it.
Great advice! Thanks for sharing 🙂 We are welcoming our third baby any day now!! Hope you have a beautiful weekend <3
Amber
http://joydare.com
Great advice! Thanks for sharing 🙂 We are welcoming our third baby any day now!! Hope you have a beautiful weekend <3
Amber
http://joydare.com
Congrats on your third baby! All the best! 🙂
Congrats on your third baby! All the best! 🙂
Hi Brittnei, I didn't know you are expecting too. Congrats! How exciting 🙂
Hi Brittnei, I didn't know you are expecting too. Congrats! How exciting 🙂
Hi Julia, I can only wish my daughter will be as sweet and helpful as yours. Fingers crossed.
Hi Julia, I can only wish my daughter will be as sweet and helpful as yours. Fingers crossed.
Thanks Adora. I'll do the baby talk and see what happens. Haha.. Poppy was so cute. At least she understood there is a baby inside your tummy and that baby has to come out in order to play!
Great advise!
Great advise!
Thanks to all experienced mummies for sharing your precious ideas n advises. My eldest is already four and is very sticky to me. Hope all these methods could help me when I am expecting No 2. Planning to but No luck yet.
Wish me good luck ya? 😀
Shirley Koh
Thanks to all experienced mummies for sharing your precious ideas n advises. My eldest is already four and is very sticky to me. Hope all these methods could help me when I am expecting No 2. Planning to but No luck yet.
Wish me good luck ya? 😀
Shirley Koh
Good luck, Shirley! Good to hear your first child is very close to you. Lauren was sticky too but she now loves her sister, showing her with constant kisses.
Good luck, Shirley! Good to hear your first child is very close to you. Lauren was sticky too but she now loves her sister, showing her with constant kisses.
Thanks Adora. I’ll do the baby talk and see what happens. Haha.. Poppy was so cute. At least she understood there is a baby inside your tummy and that baby has to come out in order to play!
Congrats on your third baby! All the best! 🙂
Hi Brittnei, I didn’t know you are expecting too. Congrats! How exciting 🙂
Hi Julia, I can only wish my daughter will be as sweet and helpful as yours. Fingers crossed.
Good luck, Shirley! Good to hear your first child is very close to you. Lauren was sticky too but she now loves her sister, showing her with constant kisses.